After living in Bellevue for 5 months and sent out more than 100 resumes, I still do not have a job. Friends told me to be positive. What's the incentive to be positive. Positive outlook does not help me to get a job.

Everyday, I wake up, the first thing that comes out of my mouth is 'sian'. Another day of wasting time to watch sunrise and sunset.

There are so many jobs in Washington, in fact, Washington accounts for 1/3 of the new job creation in USA. So many jobs mean there are vacancies in admin, marketing, public relations, customer service but yet no one wants to employ me. What is wrong with me????!!! Yes, now I have very low self esteem. I have hit rock bottom and I am scraping the bottom.

I don't want to know how other Asian wives adjust their lifestyles because I could not care less. They care about their children and their husbands' jobs. I want to selfish for once. I want to care about myself. It is enough.

I want to vent my frustrations whenever and wherever I want.